What does your bedtime routine look like? How long does it take? How do you get rid of the energy bug and the delay bug and the I’ll-do-anything-to-not-go-to-bed-even-if-it’s-negative-attention bug?
Our bedtime routine has changed in the past couple of months.
What it used to be: My husband would head to the kids’ room to run around, wrestle, play with them. (One of the games our 4 yo made up was called “Ten Twan Cat.” It’s essentially a game of chase each other in circles around the room. But the name made it so much fun!) Then they’d play clean up time – my husband would call out a certain toy or a certain color and the kids would race to find it and put it away. Then pajamas, teeth, potty, a story or two, verse and prayer, and wha-la!
Sounds good, right? Well, except we think that the running around and playing actually got the kids wound up not worn out. Many, many times we’d head back to the room to tuck them back in, discipline if necessary, whatever. It’d be at least 2 hours later before they were really calmed down and sleeping. Yikes!
What it is now: After dinner, we play as a family or go for a walk or something in hopes of wearing out the kids a bit. We give the kids’ time increments for when bedtime is coming. “Ten minutes and then it’s time to get ready for bed.” That kind of thing. We let our 4 yo know the 3 things (pajamas, brush teeth, go potty) she needs to do to get ready for bed and she gets to decide in what order she’ll do them. My husband or I change 2 yo, help him brush his teeth, and then read/cuddle him to calm him down. He still gets out of bed several times in the evening, so we’re trying to cut back on that by giving him some time to lay by him. 8 mo is usually changed and nursed around this time, too. When 4 yo is ready, she’ll lay down in our bed to fall asleep. This helps relieve some of the goofing around that took place previously. I would love for the kids to be able to chat together at bedtime (since their beds are in the same room), but 2 yo (Mr. Social) sees it as another opportunity to play with big sister.
Most of the time, we're still quieting down kids, putting them back to bed, etc. Any tips for how to be able to just put them to bed and have them stay there and fall asleep?
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3 comments:
If memory serves me seems like there was a Supernanny thing about that I watched once...nothing like watching those shows to see how really GOOD your kids are! LOL Ok sorry off topic...one of the things that she did/said was to not engage with them when they get up, don't cuddle or whatever, simply march them back to bed and tell them it's bedtime and they are to stay in bed. Now it seems that this particular child was using the cuddle excuse because she wasn't wanting to go to bed and that was a quick way to pull at mom's heartstrings so I don't know that is a hard and fast rule, if you know what I mean. But I do agree to a point, if they have gone to the toilet, brushed teeth, gotten a drink, you've tucked them in and done all the normal stuff and then they get up wanting something again I would tend to say no go back to bed...well maybe except for the potty part, wouldn't really want to take that chance. You might even try talking to them when it's not bed time yet and tell them what you expect of them, tell them no more getting up for no reason, that bed time means bed time and they can play again tomorrow.
Our girls have shared a room for most of their lives and the only consistent problem we have had is the talking and giggling. As they've gotten older though it seems to have gotten lots better. They still do it from time to time but generally they are pretty good.
Our bedtime routine generally starts with 15-30 min of settle down time, we read a book or watch a cartoon sometimes or sometimes even, if Ty's playing a video game we just watch that for a few minutes. We've done this for several years now and it is a just a time where they know they have to settle, no giggling and laughing, try not to be silly, no toys just sit and relax before bed. Most of the time they are sitting as close as possible to us or in our laps and we use this as much needed cuddle time! Many times it is when the kids tell Ty about their day at school or something that happened etc. After that they go upstairs to brush teeth, go to the bathroom and put on pjs if they don't have them on already. Depending on the time Ty reads them a story or a chapter in a book or whatever and we tuck them in and sit on their bed while they say prayers. Then lights out and go to sleep. We still have someone that will call downstairs to us and say that they can't sleep, or forgot to get a drink, can't find their fav toy of the day or whatever but thankfully it is usually an easy prob to solve and it doesn't happen every night anymore.
Bedtimes are tricky! Our kids have always been good for the most part, either that I just don't remember the bad nights! hahaha Even when we went from the crib to the big beds, they didn't get up much because I don't think they realized that they could for the longest time. Our 7 yo has started, this summer, with the 'but I'm not tired at all and if you make me go to bed I won't be able to sleep and I'll just lay there and stare at the wall'. She was NOT impressed when our answer was simply, OK but it's still bed time! Best of luck Karen, I hope someone leaves a comment that helps you.
I saw the same supernanny thing scrappinmum talked about, and it was really effective when she did it. I have used it before, but it wasn't as effective for me. Now, getting out of bed for anything short of an emergency is a "spankable offense".
Our kids generally aren't too bad, and the bedtime routine isn't long, as we've had some unusual circumstances surrounding naps/bedtimes on a regular basis since they've been born, but the upheaval has made them wonderfully adaptable. They don't need a long drawn out bedtime routine to fall asleep or settle down, they just learn to do it.
Many of the tips I use came from the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Mark Weisbluth. (sp?) It was recommended to me before I had kids, and I have recommended it to many a new mom myself.
For us, tremendous benefit has been gained from finding a good technique from the start, instead of waiting until bad habits started to establish a pattern. The recommendation of that book prior to the birth of our 1st was priceless I think. However, it's never too late to implement new stuff.
A few times a week, we're gone right up until bedtime or get home even after the usual bedtime, not leaving much time to "unwind" them, but they do well at calming themselves, as they've alway had to. We have never held them while they go to sleep, or rocked them, or let them sleep with us, etc. I've met people who think our lack of bedtime cuddling and relaxation every night is "unloving", but I really don't feel that way. Since I stay home, our cuddle time is usually in the morning, and stories are read all through the day, so for us, a bedtime routine is just down to business--just get ready and go to bed! It's similar to how a mealtime routine doesn't have much more to it than doing what it takes to get ready to eat...doesn't have any extra stuff....
So our bedtime routine is simply diaper changes, jammies, teeth brushed, maybe a quick story (or a few if we have time), prayers, kisses and lights out. The whole process can take less than 10 minutes if we need it to. And no, they don't always fall asleep right away, but they very rarely cry, and usually don't get out of bed, especially since we've dubbed it a "spankable offense"
We have a very quick bedtime routine and our kids have always done quite amazingly well (yippee!) going to bed easily and staying there. It takes pretty much 10 minutes. Get on jammies, go to bathroom, brush teeth, pray, bed! The few times we have had problems with them getting up I did what I read somewhere...when they got up I'd be very unemotional about it and guide them back to their room without saying a word. I got some strange looks from them, but they got no attention (positive or negative) for getting out so it didn't make doing it any fun and they stopped getting out. :)
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