Playtime

Do you keep your children busy with tasks and organized play throughout the day? Or do you let them play freely without guidance or restriction? What’s your reasoning behind that?

I always thought that kids should just play freely; that’s just what they do. You wake up, the kids go off and play while you clean and do whatever. However, over the past few months when I’d let my oldest two (4 and 2 ½) play while I went off to do chores, reading, or other things, more often than not there was screaming and pushing and crying. That made for long, frustrating days.

I read somewhere that some moms are always within close proximity to their children to be able to curb any potential problems before they really become problems. They literally keep their children within arm’s reach all day long. That seemed a bit much to me, but my way didn’t seem to make for a happy household, so I thought I’d give it a try.

It didn’t last very long. I think within the first hour, I realized that I didn’t have enough organized, planned things to do with the kids, and I didn’t want to follow them around like their shadows. Also, what if they want to do two separate things? Should I stick with the one and let the other one go free? There are probably good answers for these questions, and it might be a plan that works well for families. I decided to tweak this idea a bit, though.

My schedule/routine helps me a lot. I ask the kids to help me with chore time, and we have some play times together where I’m available (scheduled) to join in the play or I work on the room they’re playing in. Sometimes the kids are playing really well together and I don’t want to interrupt that! I just keep an ear on them while I’m cleaning or whatever. As soon as I start to hear the emotion of the play change, I head in (which in and of itself can resolve things). Other times, I implement table games – I either put the kids at separate locations (1 at dining room table, one at kitchen counter) or both at the table, depending on how they’re acting toward each other. I’ll give each of them a toy, book, doodle, project that they can work on at the table. This can last for up to 30 minutes, depending on the table game. Then we’re ready to go on to the next thing, whether it’s more chore time, playing together, lunch, etc.

Things have been a lot more peaceful around here. Yes, they’re still kids and siblings and so there will still be moments of trouble, but it’s been reduced some and that’s wonderful! I have to keep my mindset in check and remember to be available to them. I haven’t perfected my plan-of-attack, but it’s getting there. What do you do?

(Ooh! One more thought. I’ve noticed that I don’t hear the “I’m bored” comment as much anyway. Maybe having some organized/structured time has helped so that when they have free time, their toys are more appealing. Just a thought.)