Personalities

What are the different personality traits of your children? How does that affect their interaction with each other and your working with / training them on a daily basis? Have you learned any tricks of the trade for raising strong-willed children? (for example, getting them to obey when they don’t want to or feel like it?)

4-year old is independent in play but dependent on Mom and Dad in social situations. She’s very good at going off on her own to come up with some great imaginative play. She’s also a leader – if she’s with other kids or even visiting adults, she’ll tell everyone what to play and how to play. But when it comes to being out and about, she’s very clingy, especially to me. She tends to not make eye contact with people, especially new adults. She is strong-willed – when she wants to do something, it gets in her head and she will do it. And if she doesn’t want to do something, it’s really difficult, if not impossible, to get her to do it.

2 1/2 year old is compliant, social, and adventurous. He copy-cats what 4yo says and does, even picking up on her facial expressions. He’s a great play-partner for 4yo because he’ll do what she says. He can play well on his own with his own toys, but for the most part, he’d rather be with someone. His level of social-ness is absolutely adorable but also a bit frightening. He’ll walk up to anyone, say, “Hi. (announce his name) I’m 2.” I have to keep a close eye on him when we’re out in public for his protection. (What a sad world we live in, huh?) His adventurous / social combination is also quite dangerous because he will just wander off to explore new surroundings. He is all boy – jumping, throwing, banging heads, growling, stomping like a giant (not to throw a fit, just for fun). It’s really fun to see.

8 month old is social and, so far, seems really content to just be held and watch what’s going on. I wonder, though, if there’s a bit of strong-will in her as well. While she’s only 8 months old, she still can scream quite loudly if she doesn’t get her way or can’t have a toy or object that’s dangerous. For now, she can be distracted to focus on something else; hopefully, that’ll continue. Her screams are really piercing.

I’ve learned that whatever the personality, if I’m doing something with them or ask for help, the kids are much more willing to participate. As mentioned before, 4yo & 2 1/2 yo tend to play well together. I try to give them some separate play things to do (table games, etc) so that 2 1/2 yo can do stuff on his own, in his own way. While 2 1/2 yo doesn’t always want to clean up or do something, once we get him headed in that direction or get him started, he’ll plunge right in and cheerfully continue the task.

With 4 yo, I’ve learned that choices are the best thing for her. One example is for her bedtime routine. Every night, we tell her it’s bedtime. When I ask her to get dressed first, then head into the bathroom, she fights against it ‘cause she’s being told what to do. So, I’ve learned to tell her she has 3 things to do (pajamas, teeth, potty) and ask what she wants to do first. It’s a really smooth bedtime routine. I’m learning to continue these choice things into other parts of the day as well. There are times when she doesn’t get a choice (she has to take a nap, she has to sit at the dinner table whether she eats or not, ) but there’s quicker obedience when I determine what’s okay for choices for her and she gets to make the ultimate decision.