How do you balance managing your home and training your children? Do you have a schedule? What does it look like? Do you focus more on one or the other, depending on the day?
For a while, I had a weekly To Do list of the cleaning things I needed to do each week. I’d go through and, whenever I had the urge to clean, I’d tackle a bunch of things. But then I’d burn myself out and stop and take a break for a few days (or the rest of the week). I would cross off some of the things from my list, but not everything was getting done each week. And my least favorite jobs were never getting done.
More recently, I’ve created a schedule to tackle one room (or set of rooms) per day, and each day I keep the kitchen cleaned up after each meal prep and meal, and each day I sweep all the hardwood floors. I try to start laundry in the mornings. Monday and Wednesday or Thursday are my main laundry days, but if I check to see if I can run at least 1 load a day, I can stay on top of it. Too, I’ve tried to keep to some sort of daily flow schedule so that the kids get a good chunk of my time. Here’s what I’ve got:
Morning Routine
- everyone wakes up (usually around 6:30, sometimes sooner, rarely later)
- everyone gets dressed
- breakfast
- breakfast clean-up, including unloading dishwasher and loading in dirty dishes
- Chore time – make beds, and 30 minutes on designated room for the day; kids help and/or play
- Circle time – change the calendar, learn a Spanish word, read a couple books, learn about
an animal or a country (Mondays are for the new Letter/Sound of the Week and to learn a new verse)
- Play time with Mommy – whatever the kids want to do, whether inside or outside. 8 month old
usually takes her morning nap (about 1 hour) during this time. Thank goodness for monitors so we can still head outdoors. This is also the time when we color, do crafts, go to the library on some days, or play Uno or Candyland.
- Snack time or lunch time, depending on the length of play
Afternoon Routine
- nap time (usually starts around 12:30 or 1:00 and ends around 3:30)
- I get to do my thing, which is usually taking a nap. 8 month old is getting really close to sleeping through the night, so I’m finding that I actually have time to do my own thing – read, computer time, Bible study, etc.
- Baking time / Play time with Mommy – whoever gets up first from naps gets to decide. Sometimes we bake cookies or banana bread; sometimes we do 1-on-1 play or reading time.
- Dinner Prep – kids do table games or watch a movie. Sometimes 4 year old will play a game on the computer. This time is important for me to be stress-free, so I usually keep the kids within eyesight and doing separate activities, which makes for less fighting.
Evening Routine
- Dinner & Family Reading Time
- Family Play Time – sometimes husband heads outside with the kids while I clean up. Sometimes we all go for a walk or play Frisbee outside. (Clean up then waits ‘til after kids’ bedtime.)
- Kids’ bath and/or bedtime.
- My turn to shower. Final kitchen clean up, run dishwasher, walk through house for quick clean-up.
- Time with husband – usually a movie or game.
Cleaning Schedule
Monday cleaning
– Kitchen (clean frig shelves, clean stainless appliances, wipe down cabinets); wash sheets Tuesday cleaning
– Bedrooms (vacuum floors, pick a shelf in a closet to organize, clean mirrors)
Wednesday cleaning
– Bathrooms (the usual); wash towels
Thursday cleaning
– Dining Room and Living Room (wash sliding door, dust piano and mantel and TV & entertainment center, wash windows, take apart and wipe down 8 month old’s high chair); mop floors
Friday cleaning
– catch up day if I missed any day for whatever reason; check for cobwebs (creepy!), file away the paper pile(s), iron clothes (this job is my least favorite and piles up quickly, so I try to iron 5 items each week.)
Weekends
– play time! I keep up with the kitchen clean up around meal time and sweep, but I really don’t want to have to do any laundry or cleaning.
Okay. SO…that’s the ideal. I like this schedule because it really gives the kids a lot of my time (and keeps them from causing each other a lot of trouble, for the most part). The cleaning is getting done but doesn’t require hours of time each day. Keep in mind, I’ve just created this schedule in the past week or so. I’m doing an okay job of sticking to it so far; we’ll see how it goes over the next couple of weeks.
What's YOUR answer?
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10 comments:
That's a huge question! For the last two and a half months, we had my husband's grandmother living here. She moved home one week ago...the freedom has been EXHILARATING! I do like to keep a schedule of waking/eating/naps/bedtime...we are always up by 7:15, unless my husband doesn't get Jacob to bed on time. :) We have breakfast...play...nap...lunch...go out in the afternoon if we have a playdate, otherwise, we stay home...dinner...bath...bed.
We just changed our membership at the Y to a family one. I am going 2-3 times a week in the mornings after breakfast, which gives Jacob play time with other children.
As for chores, things get done when they get done. I've thought about getting more organized about it - lists/days for certain things, etc - but it all seems to get done without it. My little guy isn't a help, but my mother-in-law is GREAT help, especially now that I am expecting number two.
Right now, "training" my little guy isn't too hard...but, it's about to become a little more adventurous as he is into everything, and needing more direction/discipline. ;)
Karen...it's so great to read your schedule. I have one very similar to it, and yet, I'm afraid I have a rebellious spirit towards schedules. I really like lists, but I have to do something when I "feel" like it rather than because the schedule says to do it. As we start homeschooling this first year, though, I'm hoping to break that rebellious spirit! My cleaning schedule is just like yours, and we try to do chores in the morning to get the kids in the habit: making beds, etc. I'm doing good if I remember to have them brush their teeth in the a.m.!
I think my biggest problem is creating too many other things to do. There are numerous "other things" that usually include other people. I find that this really distracts me from playing with my kids. My fav. part about your sched. is that you actually play with your kids. I do, and we read a lot, but I don't think it's my priority in a day. They play so well together, they don't need me, but I don't want to miss out on this precious time to play with them, either.
I need to remember that though it's not a job, per se, it is my honor.
This fall we are majorly re-evaluating our schedule so we can maintain quality family time.
That's that!
--Meghan
It's good to hear these are things other moms think about/struggle with too. I am curious to find out what age kids the other moms that commented have?
I have a 17 mo old and another due end of October. Until recently my schedule has mostly been trying to establish and maintain regular nap times/eating times, getting the rest I need, then trying not to feel too guilty about what's not getting done/cleaned at home. I try and keep on top of the kitchen for the most part each day, and some days that's all I can handle. On days I have energy I go at everything like mad then collapse exhausted at the end of the day! The last few weeks, however, I've been working on establishing more of a schedule for housework and have found it leaves so much more time for my son and for social outings, funny. So, as of now I've simply been tackling one room/day or every other day. And doing laundry every other day as well. I am usually a list person, but have found that my expectations of what I should be able to get done still are a bit unrealistic then the "undone" things are all I can think about while trying to "relax" when my husband is home. Just as I'm starting to get the hang of this balancing act, #2 will be here before we know it. They will be only 20 mos apart. Any words of wisdom for balancing housework, mental sanity, and a newborn and 20 mo old??
Mary
Wow Karen...you are organized. you'll have to update us to see if you're sticking to your schedule. I find that if I have a schedule or something NEEDS to get done, I get stressed because my kids are "bugging" me and I can't get it done. So it's better that I have a to do list and can cross things off as they get done (a wonderful feeling) and to do them when the kids are actually playing nicely. Two boys ages 3 and 1 are quite challenging! You're inspiring me though!
MaryBeth
Melissa -- I can't imagine what having someone live with you for a couple months would do to any time of routine or schedule! What a balancing act between playing hostess to your guest and trying to manage your home! I'm glad that things are easier for you now.
Meghan -- I have tried a series of things to get me on track. After the Weekly To Do list thing, I tried create a rigid schedule that plotted out every hour of my day. I was so messed up and confused on even the first day that I knew something had to change! This "flowing" schedule seems to work really well for me. And it's helped that 4 yo is very much into routine; every day she asks what's next, and that helps keep me on track. Have you read or heard from other homeschooling moms about different types of schedules they use? Maybe there's something out there that your free spirit might not rebel against!
Mary -- I think you're doing the right thing with getting some sort of schedule established now before #2 gets here. My oldest 2 are 19 months apart, and, to be honest, things were a bit chaotic after #2 arrived. I didn't really have any sort of schedule or routine to follow either, though. But if you have a schedule and you give yourself some time after Baby #2 to adjust and figure out what works best, I think you'll be just fine.
MaryBeth -- thanks for the encouragement! I'll certainly keep you posted as to how the schedule is working out for me. I appreciate your accountability! I can imagine that having 2 adventurous, energetic boys around makes for quite the interesting cleaning times. It's just been within the past 3 months or so that my 2 yo boy has been able to sit still with something for longer than 2 minutes. I'm taking advantage of that for when I need him to be separate from 4 yo or when I need to be able to focus on something; I set him up at the table or kitchen counter with a toy, coloring book, noodles to play with, something to occupy him for at least a bit. How's the attention span for your boys?
No set schedules here- I can pretty much look around and see what needs to be done and with kids, something always needs to be picked up and cleaned. So, maybe my house isn't as clean as it could be! It all gets done eventually! We have some routines (eat breakfas then get changed for the day; read together then naptime; eat dinner then have Bible time; brush teeth then go to bed...etc etc etc) so the kids usually know what to expect to come where, but no real set schedules for us.
I have a few things that I like to happen at certain times of the day such as lunch at noon, nap around 2, dinner around 6 and bedtime around 8. My 20 month old is such a great sleeper and doesn’t get up until after 8. Because of that, I take the time to get up and have a shower, eat breakfast, empty the dishwasher (little hands aren’t too helpful at this point!). Once she is up and eats breakfast it just depends on the day. We have a “sort-of” weekly schedule: Monday-walk around the lake with a couple other friends and babies, Tuesday-free day for play dates or just hangin’ at home, Wednesday-we go and hang out with a one year old friend so his home can do some things that she needs to do, Thursday-Storytime at the library (most times we walk), and Friday is another day to be at home or meet up with other friends in the morning. After lunch we are usually at home playing out in the kiddie pool on the deck or in the house with various toys/books. Naptime usually lasts 2-3 hours and then my husband is home from work between 4:30 and 5. He plays with Mac while I get dinner going. We’ve found this works best so she isn’t under my feet and begging for handouts. Also is a good time for father/daughter to make some calls on the web cam since we have family out east and we can’t wait too long. After dinner is family time. We like to go out for walks, to the playground, maybe go play tennis (that’s new) and Mac can chase balls to her heart’s content! Back home for bed around 8.
Cleaning is one thing that I don’t have a schedule for. I try to stay on top of the kitchen as that is one place that I can’t handle getting too messy. I like my empty counter space. Just recently I have been more diligent about making sure the kitchen is clean before I go to bed. I was finding that I was so tired after dinner and the kiddo’s bedtime that I would leave the dishes until the morning. I came to realize that waking up to a messy kitchen is no fun at all!
Laundry gets done as I get to it and I find that it is on of those chores that isn’t too horrible for me b/c I can throw in a load and walk away. If I don’t get it into the dryer until the evening, oh well. Mac’s clothes are easy b/c I just wait until there is enough for a load and then throw it in. As for our clothes, the indication I need to do something is when the husband has no clean socks or I can’t see our bedroom floor! ;) Bad, bad, bad. One little thing I have discovered is cleaning the bathroom during bath time. I’m in there anyway so why not be productive. I really don’t like spending time cleaning while I could be playing with Mac so I do it during naptime, after bedtime (although not often) or on the weekend when there are 2 of us around. At 20mo, she is too young to help although she will help put the wet clothes into the dryer. I turn that into a lesson by telling her what each item is and she tries to repeat it!
My life is sooo different than the SAHMs! My son Riley's diagnosis of autism really sets our schedule in a lot of ways. I work eves and weekends with one job and daytimes with the other job, so I can still be involved with some of the day to day routines. MOnday mornings Riley has 2 hours of private therapy-and when he is there, we can have time with Logan which is usually combined with a grocery shopping trip of some sort. This is true for Tuesdays and THursday mornings also when Riley has 3 hours of time at Fraser day treatment. Logan naps in the afternoons most days for which during the school year, riley is at special ed preschool 5 afternoons per week. During the school year, we have MOPS and bible study for moms also which gives the kids contact with other kids, etc. I miss the days when I didn't work full time and could do more play dates, those are the times when Mark is taking them to the parks and pools. Believe it or not, Mark has found a "dad's group" that meets at a park on WEdnesday mornings. THese are the mom's work while dad is home dads. He learned about it while taking Riley to Fraser- there is a boy in his class whose dad was outside the classroom observing one day.
As for cleaning schedule- I get so motivated when I see schedules that many of you have put together. I think they are a great idea. That way too, some of the essentials don't get missed. I'm going out on a limb here...but ever have those times when you have to ask yourself--when did I change those sheets last? yes, schedules would be great for that! We keep up on the kitchen almost every day, except on those days when we are both so exhausted. I also have encountered the "clean the bathroom during the bath" routine which works great. Laundry... my least favorite job- no routine there, but it gets done between the two of us. I am the surface cleaner and Mark is the picker upper so we tend to keep the house organized and somewhat clean under the circumstances. I've recently turned into a bedmaker in the master bedroom-but have yet to instill the bedmaking habit with Riley. That would be good. As a matter of fact, it is time to start some chores with the boys- I'm sure they would be eager to help! :)
Wow! I'm so envious of so many of you that can create a schedule and stick to it! I have a rough schedule, like for naps and stuff, but not for other things like cleaning.
We do have a rough schedule of what our week will look like because of the activities that we are involved in, such as library story time on Mondays, and trips to the Farmer's market on Wednesdays, and Summer Splash on Thursdays. We try to go do things a few times a week like that, as it helps everyone to get out of the house and do some activities with other kids.
As far as the cleaning schedule goes, like a couple other posts I read, I just see things that need to be done and do them whenever I get the chance. It's nice to read that other moms aren't perfect in this area too, especially ones that have kids close together. I enjoy reading posts like Mary's, so I know I'm not alone! My first 2 kids are 12 months apart, and my second 2 are only 11 months apart, so needless to say, I have my hands full. Through it I have learned that it pays to be organized, but not to a fault. I used to be so "organized" that I worked myself into chaos, and just couldn't stick to a strict routine.....I've learned that some things I really need to just let go of and go with the flow to really be able to enjoy (and handle) my kids. Some things, like bathroom cleaning, I do everyday if it needs it....it's simpler that way I think. After the kids' take a bath, I used the wet rags to wipe down the tub/shower and counters. When I'm vacuuming the rest of the house, I do the bathroom rugs too, and I clean the mirrors and the throne as needed. :)
Other things, like laundry, get done when they get done. I'm pretty good at keeping up on washing it, but folding and putting it away is another story. And forget about ironing. I don't do ironing. I make a valiant effort to take the clothes out of the dryer when they're warm so they don't wrinkle....that's the extent of my "ironing". Luckily, my hubby likes to iron his own shirts if he needs them for work or something.
Well, it's been about 2 weeks since I've been "on schedule" with cleaning and kid time. And while I've tried to figure out why, I can't really figure it out. Guess that means I have no excuse! I've caught myself feeling lazy at times and just fighting the idea of cleaning or whatever. Pretty lame, huh?
SO...over the weekend and today I've been playing catch-up. I went through the house with a laundry basket and picked up all the kids' toys. (I put the basket in their room and they raced each other to empty the toys and put them away.) Then I set the timer and did a general cleaning of each room for 15 minutes. This was really helpful to get me back on track. I'd like to have my house presentable at a moment's notice for people stopping by. (Notice I said presentable and not spotless. That's just unrealistic for a lived-in house with kids.)
I still like my schedule, and while I'm not always right on the nose with it, it's a great guideline for me. And I have noticed serious differences in the kids' attitudes when I'm on track with them time and when I'm way off by lounging around or spending too much time doing my own thing.
Amy -- Predictability seems pretty important to kids, and it sounds like your kids can know what to expect on a daily basis. Very cool.
Tonya -- How fun that you guys are getting into tennis! Have you ever played before? And what a great fenced-in play area for Mac!
Kerry -- What a great thing for Mark to have a Dad's group! I didn't know there were any out there! And way to go for you guys and your schedule and really getting Riley where he needs to be. Did your doctor help you find the therapy and education stuff for Riley, or did you have to search on your own? (If it's not too rude of me to ask, how/when was Riley diagnosed?)
Jenna -- Clever idea to do bathroom cleaning up during and after bathtime! I might just employ that notion so it frees me up from one of my cleaning days!
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