I HAVE A QUESTION! I wonder about all you gals out there. Do you think much about your appearance, and how that reflects your personality? Is it something that you think about a lot? Hardly? Could care less? I am trying to find the balance between taking care of myself, being attractive to my husband, and having fun with fashion without it consuming too much of my mind. I'd be happy to hear from you and your enlightening comments. Meghan
One response:
HI girls! I don't know that I have the 'right' answer but I can tell you what I do....it's def easier as the kids get older to do something with yourself more consistentaly. It was really really hard when they were all small (they are 7.5, 6, & 4 now..oh and 1 on the way!)I know when they were young, toddlers and smaller, I was thrilled that I got to shower much less anything else, very sad days when I couldn't even remember when the last shower was! lol When I was home with them all day when they were little, I had a rule that I tried hard to stick to. First, to try to be dressed in some way by 10am, a lot of the time it gravitated closer to 11 but I tried; and second I tried to keep the comfy clothes, like track pants or leggings or the like, to only 1 or 2 days a week and to wear 'real' cloths the rest. I found that the sloppier I dressed the more tired, crabby, down, etc I felt and that when I took the time to 'get ready' even if just a little I felt worlds better about myself. I do wear makeup and have for ever it seems but I can do it in less than 10 minutes and it makes a huge difference in how I feel. Anyway, now tho that they are all in school for a few hours it's a lot easier! For me, I try to balance it with functionality--i.e. high heels, no matter how in-fashion they are just aren't practical on the school/grocery runs ;o)--comfort and trying to be somewhat fashionable, in my mind anyway. No matter what I will always have a main staple of good ol blue jeans, in fashion or not, though thankfully I think they stay most of the time. My hubby is pretty good about telling me when I look nice and letting me know, nicely as possible if he doesn't care for something in particular. As an example he hates track pants, I still wear them around the house sometimes but I really try to not wear them very often (even pregnant) and not around him if I can help it. Don't get me wrong, he doesn't care at home, just not out in public much. Anyway...that's my 2cents worth, if it's even worth that! Hope it helps someone....kelly
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Meghan, I appreciate you saying that you want to look attractive to your husband. I've never thought of it that way. Looks/appearance have never been a high priority for me. In fact, the less I look in a mirror and see myself the better. (Not that I don't like the way I look or anything.) So since I didn't really care, I guess I didn't put much thought into what my husband might think. I do notice, though, when my husband comments that he likes something I'm wearing. I have to admit, though, that I may be taking steps toward paying attention to what I wear. I'm finding myself wanting to wear something other than jeans and t-shirts. *gasp* :)
Kelly, I agree with you that what you wear can affect your outlook and attitude. Some days it doesn't seem to matter to me. But other days, it makes the biggest difference in the world. And like you said, getting dressed sooner in the day -- even first thing if possible -- can set a better outlook on the day ahead. That's been something I've tried to really get solid in my new schedule -- getting dressed right after I roll out of bed. (I'm an evening shower person, so that makes it easier for the morning routine.) It's nice that your husband is sensitive about his comments about your clothing. Good for him for being brave and helping you out that way!
I always feel better about myself when I wear something that looks decent and fix my hair and makeup. I am pretty low maintenance so it only takes less than 5 minutes. But I want to look nice for my husband. Before he comes home I will usually change anything that I know he doesn't like and put on a little lip-gloss. He appreciates me looking somewhat decent and its an easy way to show I care.
I don't think too much about my clothes and hair but I DO think probably WAY too much about feeling fat. I HATE that! I try NOT too, but I am always noticing other people and wondering how I look compared to them. I lost and kept off 80 pounds about 3 years ago and then I felt great about myself, but now that I stopped losing and haven't changed anymore I just don't feel so great. Even though I'm a healthy weight and size it's like a focus in on these stretch marks ALL over my middle and baggy skin that I can poke and grab like bread dough (delightful, huh?!) So that is MY struggle. I guess it's something I really need to take to the Lord and just accept myself the way I am and be happy with my baggy, yucky midsection and look at the three kids and extra fat that isn't there that made my skin like that and be happy!
Does anybody else struggle with this or am I the only one?!
I definately struggle with the weight thing too. My entire family is big, I'm by far the smallest one, which isn't saying much. I do have some weight to lose, but also just had 3 kids in 2 years, the youngest of which is only 11 weeks. But, regardless, I still hate looking in the mirror, and also have a difficult time finding clothes that i think I look good in. I do want to look nice for my husband, and thus far, that has been a major motivation for me to lose.....he always says i look great and that I could be 500 lbs and he would still love me just the same, but I seem to feel a sense of obligation to look good for him. After all, I'm the only woman he should be looking at, so I might as well do my part to promote it. :)
The time thing is another issue. I have 3 kids of my own under 2 1/2, and one daycare kid that is 5 months, so I don't have a lot of time to spend on hair or makeup, and my husband doesn't really care about those things in general anyways. However, I do, for both my sake and his, make it a point to look nice when I leave the house to go somewhere besides the park or to get groceries. Especially for church, or out for dinner, or anywhere we might run into people we know.
You know, I guess for me it's kind of a rule of thumb, that if I'm spending more time with the kids, then I do less with myself, because they don't even have the capacity at this point to care if mom is wearing makeup or not. But when I'm spending time with adults, I at least make an effort to do a little more.
Amy, I might as well of typed your comment myself! I can totally relate b/c I feel the same way about the weight/excess since that won't go away! No matter how much I walk or how healthy we eat it feels as though nothing changes. I'm sure I should be doing more like lifting weights or doing *gasp* sit-ups but I just don't have the time. I'd rather be hanging with Mackenzie than sticking her in daycare at the gym or in front of the TV so I can exercise. We go for walks together and even that is getting more difficult b/c she isn't wanting to sit in the stroller as long. She wants to walk to and I feel like that somewhat defeats the purpose of me wanting the exercise.
I don't tend to dress up for my husband but I don't like to look like a slob either. He doesn't care what I look like but it makes me feel better to be dressed and looking decent in case I do need to go somewhere, even if it is the grocery store. If we are going to go on a date or something I will make more effort to look nice.
I do love to shop and wish that I had more money to spend on clothes but it doesn't make or break me. I'm just very selective about picking out things that I know I will wear and get my money's worth.
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