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We're not alone as mothers, so there's no need to struggle or wonder what to do. Let's learn from each other -- ask questions, offer advice, encourage one another, and laugh together! What an adventure we're on! Check out the "Who are You?" post to sign in and meet the other mothers!
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August
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9 comments:
What has made motherhood less stressful for me is to relax. And by that, I don't mean to lounge in a chair, pull out a book and read all day. (My, that sounds nice!)
When I'm going about my daily schedule or out running errands, I try not to have a time-constraint on things, or I get stressed out. If I can go with the flow, rather than having certain things I have to do at certain times, then I do much better. I'm not rushing the kids around to accomplish something, and I tend not to be short with them like I can be when I'm stressed out.
Now granted, that's not always an option and some days require time constraints. I have to gear up for those days and get through them. But for me, it's much easier with the 3 kids if I just take my time in whatever we're doing.
Hmmm the best piece of advice I can give a brand new mom (or mom-to-be) I think would be, if you are considering breastfeeding, don't be surprised when it hurts and contrary to what a lot of people/books tell you, it doesn't just 'come naturally' to either you or the baby it's something you learn to do and so does the new little one! I really wish someone would have explained these two things to me when I had my first. Don't get me wrong we did fine but honestly at the very beginning I thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't know what I was doing, I thought it would just, well be natural I guess. I don't know that probably doesn't make that much sense but hopefully you get the idea of what I'm trying to say. But besides that, I like what Karen said, just relax....Hmmmmm I think I need to do that more now! It's very easy to get yourself worked up and it doesn't take long to get there!
Kelly
Keep laughing! I know you are sleep deprived and didn't know you had an alterior personality when functioning on only 2 hours of sleep, but just try to laugh and soak it in. Truly, it really does fly by, and you can't get those moments back. Unless you just keep having children, of course!
Always keep the diaper bag stocked and ready to go.....it always pays to be organized. When I get home, I re-stock it right away and set it in the same place. That way, when we want to go somewhere on the spur of the moment everything is ready to go. It also helps me when I'm at home, as if ever I can't find a clean bottle, or burp cloth, or the right size diaper (with 3 in diapers, they're EVERYWHERE, just not always the size I'm looking for) I can just grab one from the diaper bag.
Also, keep ANYTHING you might possibly need in the diaper bag. You may never need it, but when you need something you don't have it can wreck an outing pretty fast. Don't forget things like bug spray, sunscreen, band-aids, kleenex, chapstick, hair ties, fingernail clipper, etc. If you get the travel stuff, they fit in a small bag and they will save the day for you or someone else someday.
Kelly -- It's good to be reminded that sometimes we're told things will just be natural and sometimes they really take work! Did it get any easier for you as you had more kids?
Meghan -- Good advice! A less-intense approach to the day can make all the difference!
Jenna -- I'm going to go make sure my diaper bag is stocked right now! :) And great idea to have all those "extras" in there. I'll be looking out for sample sizes to stash in there.
Good for you Jenna! I have always been terrible about the diaper bag...sometimes forgetting it altogether! I have been known to grab diaper-changing supplies right off the shelf in the grocery store and change a blow-out on the floor!! I know...that's gross! Oh well,
Meghan
I think one thing I wish someone had told me is that it's ok to ask a lot of questions (doctors, midwives,friends..)I always felt so stupid asking questions that seemed so obvious. I also agree about the breastfeeding advice, it's hard at first but it gets so much easier over time.
Like Jenna I've also made a habit of keeping the diaper bag stocked and ready to go. My husband used to tease me about having so much extra stuff when we go somewhere, but he's learned that you never know when you might need something. It has made our lives so much easier if we are prepared for anything AND everything!
Also something I try to tell new moms is to really try to make your marriage a priority. It is so hard when you are sleep deprived and you feel like a milk machine but it goes a long way if you make your husband feel like he is still #1 in your life. Communication is key and to still show an interest in his day to day life when all you really care about is sleep and how to take care of your newborn. We made a big effort to still have some date nights. They weren't long, usually just dinner or a walk or something, but it was nice to get away and be able to really focus on eachother. Trading babysitting with other couples works really well for us. that way you don't have to pay and you are helping others out aswell. Even if it's only once a month it is worth it!
I don't want to freak any new-moms out, but I wish someone would have told me what a challenge it is to raise children! Raising children is a HUGE JOB! When I got stressed out I would see all of these happy moms with their cute little babies, meanwhile mine was crying or the older kids whining and complaining and I just felt aweful! Little by little when moms have FINALLY told me the truth I have learned that ALL moms have their bad days or their bad moments and I am NOT alone! Not one mom has "it all together"! And I would have liked to have known that for all of the challenges there would be equal or more amounts of times of blessings and fun ahead!
Hm, Mine has usually been, trust your instincts. Books are great, theories are great, but that's all they are. In the end you have to take it all with a grain of salt and work it all together to fit your child and your family the way you see best. Use your judgement and trust your instincts.
I've always had a really small diaper bag. I fit A LOT in it (I was the only one who could get it all in) but it was worth it. I also improvised at times and was glad for other friends who "overpacked" too!! : ) If we pooled all our diaper bags we could dominate a purse scavenger hunt for sure!
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