Wednesday, March 11, 2009
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6 comments:
I've always heard that your father is the first man you love. I don't know if that is true with everyone. My parent's relationship probably did more to teach me what not to do than what to do...but either way I learned something I guess.
I said this in the last comment too but I will say it again here. I think the most important thing Ty will teach our daughters is not a specific lesson like not to lie, how to clean up their toys but more like how to be treated, what's ok and whats NOT! By watching how he treats me, how we talk and how he leads us, it shows them what a good marriage looks like. He tells them regularly that HE has to meet and approve of dates/boyfriends etc...its kinda cute now, 8yo is already starting to roll her eyes when she hears Ty say it but she also grins a little too. They know its because he loves them and wants to make sure they will be treated well and that they deserve nothing less!
He also shows them that we work together, he desciplines just like I do, he backs me up and I do the same...so they learn that we are a team and thats how it should be.
I think Fathers and Daughters have a very special relationship that is hard to describe. For me it was with my grandpa and I adored him, he taught me those things...how to be treated, what to expect etc...from watching him with my grandma. They had a special love that you don't find everyday and I was very blessed to witness it and it taught me a lot! I hope my girls learn the same from Ty and me.
Since we don't have a daughter, i'll have to write from my experience being one :) I have some fantastic memories with my dad and I think that is the key (it should be the same for fathers and sons too though). My dad taught me to whistle while sitting together in his lazy boy chair. And we did Indian Princesses together. It was designed for fathers and daughters. It was like Girl Scouts but different. We went on camping trips and outings. Those are some very fond memories. I would/will encourage my husband to do those special trips with his children too.
One thing that my husband does with our 4 year old daughter is to spend alone time with her. With a 5 year old brother and 2 year old sister "alone time" is hard to come by, but my husband takes her (and our 5 year old) out alone to go get lunch at a resteraunt every couple of weeks. He will take them for ice cream alone, or go bowling, or go to the store together. I like that he makes a point to spend this time with each child individaully and they LOVE it. I remember my dad taking me out to eat when I was younger and those are always fond memories.
I had to comment when I read MB's comment, because I did Indian Princesses with my dad too!! :-) What fun memories. (I'm from Iowa... do they have IP in other places too??)
I also agree with Kelly... fathers of daughters are key to shaping the idea of how girls and women should be treated. Fathers should teach girls that they are good enough, cute enough, smart enough, whatever...
Dads can do this by spending one on one time. Take them out places and while there, open doors for them, let them talk about things that are important to them, compliment them on smart things they say or how they look, teach them random trivia that makes for intelligent conversations. Do special things for them on random days (like call them from work, or write them little notes, or buy them something special.)
Most importantly, in my opinion, is show them what a Godly man looks like. Someone they can look to for spiritual guidance. Someone who leads the family with respect and kindness. Someone who has high expectaions for his daughters.
It's a tall order, but the role of a "good" father is crucial to bringing up confident, intelligent, friendly girls. What a good question. I look forward to reading everyone else's responses.
I did Indian Princesses, too!! We were part of a group in Schaumburg, IL. There were weekly meetings and campouts. Did you wear headbands, necklaces, and vests, too?? Care to share photos??? :)
You know, I may have been part of an Illinois IP group also... we lived just over the Mississippi River from Illinois and being so long ago, I don't really remember where we met, etc. I'll have to ask my dad where that was. What a fun trip down memory lane. :-)
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