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4 comments:
My 4 yo and 3 yo didn't struggle much at all with tantrums. And 3 yo still goes through days where he chooses screaming instead of using words, but we're getting there. (That's our key phrase we use with the kids if we think they're about to get whiny, frustrated or angry -- "use words to tell us what's going on.")
It appears, though, that tantrums have entered our house via our 1 yo. If she's unhappy about something, she'll flail about if you're holding her or (gently) throw herself to the floor and cry a bit. She's also a screamer if something doesn't go her way or if someone takes something she wants. I'm not really sure where to begin to teach her to stop throwing fits and screaming -- help?
One of mine is a screamer and headbanger, and for now the easiest and most effective way to deal with it has been just to ignore it. Especially if we're out in public. Last week I walked away from him at the mall and pretended I didn't know him. LOTS of people were looking, but it didn't take long before he though I was really leaving and got up and followed obediently!
At home, tantrums are dealt with more aggressively, usually with a spanking AND time out in isolation (not just a regular time out). After he settles down a bit, then we talk about using words and communicating to get what we need.
One thing that tended to help tremendously with our first was to teach more baby signs. Not that they use them in EVERY case, but it just gives another outlet for communicating their needs.
During the tantrum phase of my first born (now 5 years old) I thought it would never end but now I barely even remember it! Hooray! With the youngest (just turned 2) the tantrums started about 8 months ago. Usually what works best is to remove her from the rest of us. I pick her up and calmly say, "You can not act like that by us. When you are ready to be happy, you may come out." and I walk away and about 3 minutes later she comes out and is just fine. I guess she likes an audience! :)
Our third is also a screamer. I am wondering if it is merely the fact that she is the youngest in a house that is already loud with 2 other kids. Seriously. :-)
I am beginning to think she just needs a little more attention. Like maybe I could hold her more, or respond to her needs a little more quickly (since the older kids can wait a little longer).
But during the screaming, we flick her cheek and tell her no in a quiet, almost whispering voice. I think it helps her realize that she is being REALLY noisy. :-)
I have to admit also that we have kept the pacie close by (in the car especially). Sometimes she is just too darn loud. I guess the baby of the family does get special treatment sometimes. :-)
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